I figured it out. I. Figured. It. Out. - “What?” - I’ll tell you: Everything. Why everything sucks. Here’s why:
In the 1950s - late 50s, early 60s - a bunch of advertising guys got together in Madison Avenue and decided that what they were trying to do was sell products to younger people. They thought, “we should try and sell products to younger people because then they’ll buy things their whole life.” So they try and sell them soft drinks or bread or cigars or whatever the hell they were selling them. They thought, “we’ll try and appeal to young people.” It was just an advertising thing, they didn’t mean any harm by it, it was just a little bit of market research. So they did that. And they told the television companies and the movie companies and the record companies, and everybody started targeting the youth because the youth was the place where you were gonna be able to sell things.
And what happened was that in a strange kind of quirk of fate youth began to be celebrated by society in a way that it had never been in any time in human history. Because what used to be celebrated was experience and cleverness. But what happened was that… what became valuable was youth, the quality of youth which made you a consumer. So what happened is they started to concentrate on these people.
I know what you’re thinking. You’re saying: “But wait a minute, Craig, in ancient Greece they deified the youth.” No, they didn’t. They deified beauty. Ah, different! Right?
So, what happened is youth became more important, and became more important, and became more important. And society started to turn on its head, because with the deification of youth… Youth has a by-product. The by-product of youth is inexperience. By the nature of having youth you don’t have any experience. You’re too young to have it, it’s not your fault. So you’re young and you’re kind of stupid, so they sell you stuff, right?
So therefore the deification of youth began. But the deification of youth didn’t stop there. The deification of youth kind of evolved and turned into the deification of imbecility. So it became fashionable and desirable to be young and to be stupid! And it started to be a fashion. And that grew, and that grew, and that grew, and that grew, and now that’s what all the kids wanna be. “I just wanna be young and stupid.” But you know what? That’s not what you wanna be. You don’t wanna be that. Don’t be young and stupid.
And then what happened is that people were frightened to not be young. They didn’t want to not be young. They didn’t want to get older so they started dying their hair, they started mutilating their faces and their bodies in order to look young. But you can’t be young forever. That’s against the laws of the universe!
And all of this horrible quirk and this terrible movement… nobody meant it, nobody meant any harm but now we’re in this terrible place where we have the f*cking Jonas Brothers!"
[walks around with an entire big mac in my mouth but never actually biting down] It’s a metaphor, see: you put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don’t give it the power to do its killing.
sometimes i wish math was as intriguing as pretty little liars